Photo Credit: Tamara Menzi, Unsplash.com

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

Carlos Castenada

The Choice Is Yours

Misery is that place where life feels heavy, hurtful, and impossible. Achieving your goals seems hopeless and out of reach. You don’t see any options for decreasing the pain, let alone, increasing your happiness. In moments like these, it’s easy to imagine that the source of your suffering is coming from the outer circumstances of your life. Feeling miserable is your response to the ‘what happens’ to you.  Since you weren’t in control of creating it, of course, you can’t change it.

A radical and empowering idea is that the choice of how you feel and what you experience is up to you. This may be a new perspective, or you may have heard it and didn’t know quite what to do with it. The thought of changing things that seem outside of your control may be too much if you don’t have the tools to do something about it.

The Effort of Avoidance

To remove discord, we must remove the cause, and this cause can be found only in the world within.

Charles F. Haanel

It may not have occurred to you that you are actively participating in the conditions that are making you miserable. So often it seems as though those things are ‘happening to’ you. Maybe it doesn’t feel good to think that misery only exists when your energy gives it power. The truth is, it takes energy to ignore, avoid, or contradict those inner messages that quietly tell you what you can choose to do differently in order to make your life more fulfilling. That same amount of effort can be redirected toward choices that bring confidence, gratitude, and energy to our lives.

Imagine that you have a pebble in your shoe. It doesn’t have to be very big to make you uncomfortable and to draw your attention away from what you want to be thinking, feeling, and doing. How much energy is it costing you to try to ignore it or to resist removing it?

Maybe you…

feel too busy to attend to it
think it’s not your job to remove it since you didn’t put it there
just don’t know that it’s your right to be pebble-free.

The Nature of Strength

There is a growing strength in women, but it’s in the forehead, not the forearm.

Beverly Sills

You’ve decided that you really don’t want that pebble in your shoe anymore. Not only that, you’d like to find a way to keep those pebbles from getting in your shoes in the first place. Fortunately, that pebble isn’t very big, so reaching down and taking it out of your shoe won’t take a lot of physical strength. That was never the source of the problem though.

Developing strength can be a physical act, but even more importantly, it’s mental and emotional. It’s fueled by your energy which comes from your story about who you are, why you’re here, and how you want to be.

Becoming pebble-free begins not in your muscles, but in your mind.

This type of strength can be built in small steps using tools that are readily available. A new book, an online course, or a meditation practice can be accessed easily. When you add just a small strengthening practice to your day, you’ll see the value of taking bite-sized actions to lay the groundwork for success. These resources help you to recognize the true nature of misery and to attend to your pebbles with less effort. While misery takes work, flourishing relies on connecting to your unbounded inner power that waits patiently to be discovered.

About Zette

Zette Harbour is an iPEC certified life coach and an award-winning professional storyteller. Her column, Successful Awakenings explores the limitless power of awakening to the brilliant and beautiful story of who you truly are. Sign up for vibrant and vivacious updates at Morphosis Coaching.com and receive your FREE guide, Awaken to Your Native Greatness. Follow Zette at Morphosis Coaching on Facebook. Her column, Successful Awakenings explores the limitless power of awakening to the brilliant and beautiful story of who you truly are. Sign up for vibrant and vivacious updates from Zette at Morphosis Coaching.com and receive your FREE guide, Awaken to Your Native Greatness. Follow Zette at Morphosis Coaching on Facebook.

As a professional storyteller for over 25 years, I have shared stories of all kinds to listeners of all ages, and, I have gathered hundreds of stories, both traditional and personal. Over time, one unchangeable truth emerged: the story about who you are here to be is the story that drives the conditions of your life.

This story has the power to determine the quality of the life you live. It can keep you tethered, or, it can launch you into the stratosphere. It is the most powerful self-development tool you have.

Understanding your story – your life purpose – and consciously choosing what it will be is the single most potent transformational tool you were born with.


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